Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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