The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
