in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
