4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
