She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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