Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
