And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
