If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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