Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She's like a pop up book from hell.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
