i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have already put on my inside pants.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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