and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
