he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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