what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
