i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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