So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize