Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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