Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
