Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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