I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
