she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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