Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
