I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
