lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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