she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
