Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
