Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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