I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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