I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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