I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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