Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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