No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
