this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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