I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
