I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
