I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
