i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
