Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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