can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
