so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
