bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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