i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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