I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
