he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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