Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
