i just wanna soil my oats bro
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
