do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
