dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
