no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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