yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
