Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize