I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
