I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
