Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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