everyone is single if you try hard enough
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
