I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
