I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
