That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
