you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
