i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
