The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
