Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
