Non-Jews are for practice
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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