Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't deserve a penis
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
