all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize