i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
