Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
