That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
