he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
