When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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