he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize