I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
