Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
