I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
