Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
