sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
