what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
