What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
